Today we pitched our two minute films. All day. 19 people pitched two ideas and received feedback on them. It was invigorating and exhausting and offered an opportunity to see all sorts of approaches to storytelling, from experimental to narrative.
Two minutes is not a lot of time to tell a story, so it had better be damned clear. The elements of story that the wonderful Becky Smith laid out for us yesterday are as follows:
- Genre – is it a comedy, tragedy, horror? This helps the listener understand the tone of your piece.
- Set up/Place – This seems more straightforward than it is. Can you describe the setting in a few words? I.e. it’s in the backyard of a wealthy suburban household.
- Character – This is your main character, and in a two minute short film you have one. One character who experiences the story, and whose POV (point of view) the audience shares. This is the person who wants (external goal) or needs (internal goal) something. An example. In Speed, Keanu Reeves wants to get the hell off the bus and get the bad guy. In Pretty Woman Richard Gere’s character needs to understand that Julia Roberts is the right woman for him. If these examples sound cliché and hollywood, it’s because they are. They’re good to study though because they’re simple, as all filmmakers should be. Better to start with basic stories than “Last Year at Marienbad.”
- Conflict - this takes place in the form of obstacles to the character achieving his goal, which had better be clear to the audience. There are four types of conflict in this fair world of ours:
- vs himself (internal)
- vs another individual (personal)
- vs society (social)
- vs nature (physical)
- an easier way to think about these four types of conflicts is thus; all conflict that isn’t internal, i.e. insecurity, are external, i.e. a bomb on the bus you’re on. (sorry I think speed is funny)
- Action, the character acts in order to achieve his clear goals, this leads to a
- Climax, after which there is a
- Resolution.
Do not lie to yourselves when you are looking at whether your story has these things. Intuition is essential when writing, and it will usually tell you when you’re lying to yourself.Now that I have explained my terms, here is some useful advice on pitching.
- Keep it short.
- Never use the past tense. This is backstory that you will not get on the screen.
- Have a clear protagonist and point of view. I know you want to tell the story from three different perspectives, but the audience doesn’t, and that’s who you’re making the film for.
- Shooting yourself in the ass before you even pitch. I.e. saying “I don’t think you’ll like this,” or “I don’t think this is very good.” If you don’t think it’s good, I sure as hell won’t. Be confident. Love your work.
Show Don’t Tell
In her excellent book Good in A Room Stephanie Palmer discusses the important of showing instead of telling. She writes
“Show don’t tell” is one of the most common comments movie executives give to screenwriters. It means that the writer is using too much exposition instead of conveying the information through action. While most writers find it easier to explain what’s happening in a scene, explanations aren’t visual. They aren’t as engaging or satisfying to the audience.
The problem is telling is so easy and showing is so hard. This is why our soap operas, other TV shows, and movies are often filled with expositional lines of dialogue.
Stephanie also has some wonderful advice on ways people blow pitches right off the bat, which I hope she will forgive me for quoting so extensively.
- Giving your own opinion of your work. If you say, “I’ve got a really great idea for you,” the buyer’s thinking. “Who thinks your idea is great? You? Amazing. You love your own idea. I’m floored”
This can be positive or negative. Today I saw mostly negative introductions. Let the story decide.
- Using a weak opening move. “This is a story, based on my life, that covers loss, sadness, anger and isolation.” Okay, grat. But what’s the idea? Whom is it for? What’s the hook? If you can’t start your pitch with a great first sentence, the buyer isn’t listening to the second sentence.
This is Stephanie’s example of a good pitch, with her footnotes and then I have to go to bed:
“The Last All-Nighter (1) is a thriller (2) about two teen rivals (3) who join forces to solve a murder. It’s the last week of August, and during the annual Camp Appaloosa treasure hunt, Joe (the brainy athlete) and Aaron (the rugged outdoorsman) discover the dead body of the camp director where the treasure should be. (4)
1. Relevant detail: title.
2. Relevant detail: genre.
3. Relevant Detail: heroes.
4. Relevant details: the hook.
We pitched our whole two-minute stories, which is admittedly different. I guess the three things that I find most important in writing are
- clarity
- simplicity
- and specificity.
I am reminded of my favorite quote from Robert Bresson:
A small subject can provide the pretext for many profound combinations. Avoid subjects that are too vast or too remote, in which nothing warns you if they are going astray. Or else take from them only what can be mingled with your life and belongs to your experience.
